Each one of us are completely and utterly unique; no one can be you and you can be no one else.
Clients come into our sessions being weighed down by comparison. Maybe there’s that one person that you feel some sort of affinity with, you find yourself comparing career decisions, social life or how you look. Or it could be that you are hung up about something specific about yourself, so you spend wasted hours comparing yourself to everyone around you. Comparison can take on all sorts of personalities and serve to make us feel bad about ourselves.
There are a few things we should know about comparisons before we start to try and find ways to work around them.
1 Comparisons are always imbalanced. I have noticed that we usually compare something we worry about in our own life to what we see as the best part of another person’s life.
2 Comparisons are time wasters. We have nothing to gain from comparing ourselves to others, especially if we are doing it in the way stated in point 1! Hence… Waste. Of. Time.
3 Comparisons are off target. We have total control over who we are and zero control over who other people are. So why do we focus on what someone else has or hasn’t got when we could focus on we do have or not have.
Now we can see that comparisons horrible little time wasters, we can work out how to stop doing it!
1 Remind yourself of your strengths. We all have a list of strengths, so journal them, repeat them to yourself aloud, create a mantra or write them down on post its and dot them around your space. However you choose to remind yourself is up to you, just as long as you do it!
2 Ground yourself. Sometimes we do just need to bring ourselves back to earth, get out of our own head and gain some perspective. Mediate, walk or do something which will remind you of all the reasons you’re lucky to be on this planet.
3 Be inspired. “She is so much more interesting than me…” Ok, you find her interesting. Instead of comparing, be inspired! Why do you think she’s interesting? What questions can you ask to find out more?
Let’s finish with this…
You can still water the flowers in your own garden while enjoying the growth of those in your neighbours.